We are all in this together, so always be kinder than needed. What goes around comes around. No one has ever made themselves strong by proving the other person small.
Everyone you meet is learning something, dreads something, dears something, and has lost something. Know this. And be more kind today.
In other words, don’t just preach online.
Rather, do the difficult things.
Be empathetic in whatever ways you can.
Be a source of hope to people you are connected with.
Many of the kindest gestures you’ll ever make, and the most significant things you’ll ever do, won’t come easy and will never be seen to everyone. But do them.
1. Start being a source of sincere support.
The closest thing for being cared for is to care for others. The very demons that distress each of us, distress people all over the world. It is our sufferings and hardships that connect us at the deepest level.
If we think about the people who have had the most positive effect on our lives are the ones who truly made a difference. We would likely realize that they aren’t the ones that tried to give us all the answers or solve all our problems. They’re the ones who sat silently by us and heard us out when we didn’t need answers but rather a shoulder to cry on. And these are the ones who stood beside us anyway.
Be this person for those around you, for every opportunity you get.
2. Start going out of the way to show respect.
We have to challenge to be ourselves, one hundred percent, however strange that self may prove to be. The people who help you in doing so are exceptional. Appreciate these people and their kindness, and pay it forward when you’re able.
Never bully someone into silence. Never victimize others for being different. Let people define themselves.
We have the ability to show people how awesome they are, just the way they are. So, work on this ability without hesitation; show yourself the same respect too.
Ultimately, how far we go in life depends on our readiness to be helpful to the young, respectful to the aged, tender with the hurt, and patient with those who are weaker or stronger than the majority.
3. Start leading with the truth.
Trust is the base of healthy communication, and when trust is broken it takes a long time and commitment to repair and heal.
The key thing to remember here is that secrets can be just as deceiving as openly telling a lie.If you’re covering up your secrets or concealing the truth in any way, it’s only a matter of time before the truth comes out and trust in the relationship completely breaks down.
So speak the truth openly and kindly, always.
4. Start communicating clearly, without needless drama.
Frequent name-calling, threats, eye-rolling, belittling, mockery, unfriendly teasing, etc. Of any kind, gestures like these are poisonous to a relationship because they carry hate. And it’s virtually impossible to resolve an interpersonal dispute of any kind when the other person is constantly receiving the message that you hate them.
Because the truth is, if we are throwing hateful gestures at a person instead of communicating with them, there’s a good chance they don’t even know why we are being so mean.
When we constantly use someone’s past wrongdoings to make ourselves seem “better” than them, it’s a lose-lose situation.
When we hear only what we want to hear, we’re not really listening. We must listen to what we don’t want to hear too. Because that’s how we grow stronger, together.
5. Start tuning in, particularly when you feel like tuning out.
In other words, no more silent treatments of any kind!
Tuning out, ignoring, disengaging, refusing to acknowledge, etc. All variations of the silent treatment don’t just eliminate the other person from the argument we’re having with them but it ends up removing them emotionally from the relationship, and thus the understanding we had built.
When we’re ignoring someone, we’re really training them to live without us—to ignore us right back. If this is what you want, be clear of it. And if not, tune back in!
6. Start giving people undivided attention when you’re with them.
You don’t have to tell people that you care, just display the care. In our relationships and communication with them, sincere, focused attention is all we can distribute.
When we pay attention to our loved ones we breathe new life into each other. With frequent attention and affection our relationships develop, and we as individuals grow wiser and stronger. We help heal each other’s wounds and support each other to growth. So, give someone the gift of YOU—your time, full attention and kindness.
7. Start giving more credit and praise (in public).
Give genuine praise whenever possible. Doing so can be difficult, yet it’s a huge act of service.
Start observing what you like about others, and speak up. Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around us are extremely rewarding.
It’s an investment in them that doesn’t cost us a thing, and the returns can be surprising. Not only will they feel empowered, but also what goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people we’re cheering for will start cheering for us too.
Lastly, be sure to follow this rule: “Praise in public, penalize in private.” Never publicly ridicule someone when you have the choice not to. If you don’t understand someone, ask questions. If you don’t agree with them, respectfully tell them. But don’t judge them behind their back.
Now, it’s your turn…
Remembering all of the above-mentioned and living accordingly is sometimes much easier said than done. But promise yourself to practice. Promise yourself for doing the difficult things.
Above all, don’t stop learning. Don’t stop contributing to yourself.
Engage deeply with people, also those who think differently. Listen closely. Don’t just grow in knowledge. Be a person who gives back. Use what you’re learning to make a difference. The bottom line is that this day will never come again…
Be a blessing.
Take out time to care.
Let your words heal, and not wound.
You have the strength to make a day good for someone, maybe even their whole life, simply by giving them your heartfelt presence, compassion and kindness today.